4-4: Fairy Tail

Under the burning lights of a city crumbling, an unnatural war raged between the meandering eyes of the blind and the omniscient. Cold, undead hands lingered over exhaustive battle plans, and glimmering, spying wings fluttered past their windows, desperate for a hint on the next day’s clash. It was nearly Bridgeport’s most dangerous game, second only to its extreme rooftop beer pong.

The war sprung, as most wars do, from an argument over the weekly news. The vampires lamented their tragic, lovestruck portrayal on the six o’clock segment, and said, while nursing their easily wounded, perpetually melancholy pride, that they should have been shown as the ferocious beasts they were. They then returned to lurking in their basements and weeping about their sorrows to their yawning lovers. The fairies, a burgeoning and chaotic force in underground Bridgeport politics, of course waggled their tongues at the matter. Their callous disregard offended the vampires so much that the next day’s headline screamed bloody war, and in a bout of true Dungeons and Dragons logic, the celebrities wore white sheets over their heads  to identify themselves as “true neutrals.”

Of course, armies needed to be raised if either side wanted victory…

Such was the mission of young Julia Willow, who on her patriotic quest to create new soldiers had gone soliciting door to door for fifty miles and completely lost the city her species aimed to claim. Once she realized her plight, she wandered about the countryside for many a day, and ate the crops of every farmer she came across. It was their fault for planting the corn outside, after all.

After two weeks of hungry, aimless walking, a very tired and sweaty Julia finally came across a house on the outskirts of a rickety small town. She clapped her hands together and hooted before walking briskly to the front door. “They have to have air conditioning!” she said with a grin, and then rang the doorbell upwards of ten times.

There was a grumble and a shuffling about, and the door flew open.

Scarlett Belue emerged, large lips pursed and arms crossed over her ample chest. “You here for the cure?” she snapped. She had finally started to play the piano again and had only just sat down at the bench. “Is it really so urgent that you had to ring the doorbell twenty fucking times at ten in the goddamn evening?”

“It’s really hot outside,” panted Julia.

“Erm, what?” asked Scarlett, blinking.

“It appears that Seasons finally got installed,” said Julia quickly, “and I am sweating up a storm! Summer is Hell on Earth, I’ll say. May I come in?”

Lowering her voice, Julia leaned in and whispered, “I don’t think you’d want to offend me a second time.”

With a gulp, Scarlett nodded her head. “You really want that air conditioning.”

“Yep!” giggled Julia. “I need the cold like an online gaming addict needs Sprite and four boxes of pizza. I’d simply die without it!”

I’m going to regret this, thought Scarlett. She stepped inside, and Julia eagerly followed, drinking in their meager furnishings. She wasn’t much bothered by their secondhand (or third or fourth or fifth-the Belues had no way of knowing) chairs, but by their iron spatula protruding from an overflowing cupboard. One never finds it comforting to find kryptonite in the kitchen.

“I’ll grab Young Watson,” said Scarlett. “I think he’s the one you’re looking for.”

“A man!” said Julia. She struggled to retain a composure as cool as her favorite weather. “I’ve been searching for one of those. He has a man thing, yeah?”

“A man thing?” asked Scarlett, furrowing her brow. “Like a dick or a rifle?”

“Same difference.”

“You want to fuck my brother,” stated Scarlett. “Figures. Word spreads fast between fairies.”

“Where is he?” squealed Julia.

“Young Watson!” shouted Scarlett. “Someone’s here to see you!”

A spoon clattered to the study floor. “I have to pee,” said Scarlett curtly. She wasn’t fond of sitting in on other’s sexual escapades. “You kids have fun.”

“Is he really a kid?” wondered Julia aloud, gray eyes widening. She hadn’t come to entertain children.

At that moment, Young Watson emerged from the study, eyes completely uninterested, as usual. They lit up slightly at the sight of a fairy, but remained disengaged until she came barreling towards him like a coal train on hyperdrive.

“You’re not as young as they say!” she giggled as she dashed towards him. “Look at you! You’re manlier than a grizzly bear drinking whiskey during Friday night football! I’m Julia, by the way. It’s so nice to meet you!”

“Who said that I was young?” huffed Young Watson, stepping back cautiously. “I’m a man, obviously. Hasn’t anyone seen my driver’s license? It says so right on the top!”

Julia had no idea what he was talking about, and instead crashed into him enthusiastically. Her hands immediately dropped to his nether regions and began groping about frantically.

“Watch where you’re grabbing!” cried Young Watson. “I just told you that I’m a man-you don’t need to check!”

“Oooh!” squealed Julia. Her eyes widened. “You’ll do just fine!”

Young Watson was not used to being handled while standing, and to regain his bruised pride, pushed the fairy away. Her eyes narrowed and her lips pursed. “Did you just tell me no?” she hissed.

“Not verbally, but with my body language, yes,” stated Young Watson. “I would gladly-!”

“And you really think you can tell a fairy no?”

“I just did. Now if you would listen to me-!”

“OH MY GAWD, LOOK UP!”

Young Watson rolled his eyes, and then admonished himself. He was picking up Scarlett’s bad habits. “Why should I look up when I know the only thing up there is the ceiling? That’s balderdash.”

A rush of cold slammed down upon him, and Young Watson wrapped his arms around his body, teeth chattering louder than a wood chipper. Julia snickered.

“I’m not your stupid popsicle!” cried Young Watson.

“And that’s why you don’t say no to a fairy!” teased Julia. “We’re not usually this nice, either. Most of us would’ve killed you for pushing us away, or at least transformed you into an ugly hag.”

“I don’t feel lucky,” said Young Watson, shivering. “Just freezing.”

“That’s the best way to feel!” said Julia, delighted. Most people didn’t catch on to her more beneficial tricks. “Now you’ve got to pay me back!”

“Wait, what?” asked Young Watson. “Did you just make a deal with me?”

“I’ve made a deal!” piped up Daisy, who had just arrived home and had a terrible craving for macaroni and cheese. Alcohol had a knack for making her break her diets.

“And I don’t give a rat’s ass,” snapped Young Watson to his drunken sister. “What deal am I involved in?”

“You’ll see,” said Julia, waggling her eyebrows.

Young Watson threw his hands in the air and groaned. “I think I’ll retire to bed,” he grumbled, putting his hand on his pounding forehead. Even fairy women were becoming too stressful for the poor man. He’d rather just write his neglected novel or make a good thousand conning a hapless werewolf.

Young Watson stumbled to his bedroom, still shivering, and fell to his bed. He stared at his ceiling for a few minutes, contemplating his meaningless existence. What a bother, thought Young Watson, that people spent more time thinking about trivial things like true love, filing taxes, and obscene lawn ornaments. They hardly got any real thinking done-you have to finish your morning bowl of cereal before you began sprouting true philosophy, and most people these days neglect the most important meal of the day almost as much as their telephone bills. Young Watson was always sure to eat his breakfast; this directly contributed to his nightly melancholy crash, but heightened his midday innovation considerably.

In a burst of typical efficiency, Young Watson realized how meaningless it was to contemplate his meaningless existence, and decided his time would be better spent catching up on lost sleep. He was gone within minutes.

During his seventh snore, the door creaked open, and Julia slipped inside the room and out of her clothes.

She stared down at the sleeping man, and thought again of her family back home. Last she’d heard, the fae had been losing; their numbers were dwindling like water swirling down the shower drain, reaffirming the usefulness of the new policy, demanding and rash, but wholeheartedly effective. They wouldn’t just draft in new soldiers-they would create them. Five children from each remaining fairy would be enough for a restored army-those who didn’t comply were sent to the dogs, and fairies couldn’t stand the “mangy, foul smelling” creatures. From the folds of their people, the fae would defeat their undead enemies, and reign mischievous chaos over the jaded stars of Bridgeport.

Julia hated dogs, and besides, she found Young Watson rather handsome for a human. He had a certain lofty, confident logic about him that one rarely saw in fairykind. Julia cocked her head to the side. She couldn’t decide which she liked better. “The cock or the cockiness?” she murmured to herself. Still flopping about the answer, she crawled into bed beside the youngest Belue, and traced a pale finger down his spine.

“You’ll help me, won’t you?” Julia purred, breathing softly in Young Watson’s ear. He stirred, and his red eyes blinked open slowly. “The strong man always helps the little lady.”

“False,” yawned Young Watson. “Contrary to popular sexism, I would put my own safety first.”

“You’ve got to help me!” snapped Julia, each word shooting out like popcorn kernels from an uncovered pan. “Our deal!”

“Does our deal have to do with why you’re in your underwear?”

Julia purred, grinning widely. She nodded.

He raised a skeptical eyebrow, but couldn’t help the smile spreading across his face. Was it the wings that so enticed him? The dangerous glint in their eyes as he sidled down, down, down? He made a mental note to contemplate this the next night. Despite his growing affection for the fae, he remained wary. “So you froze my face off, and now you want to have sex with me?”

Julia scooted closer. “Yes.”

Young Watson frowned. “This doesn’t seem like a fair deal.”

“You got a taste of sweet winter, so I get sex. What’s more fair than that?”

“Having a coffee and getting to know one another?”

“Did you do that with any of the other fairies you slept with?” snapped Julia.

Young Watson gulped. “I just didn’t like them as much as you!” he lied, a bead of sweat forming on his brow. “Getting to know them was unnecessary!”

While Young Watson would con anybody he could peddle his elixirs to, he couldn’t stand being caught in an unfair deal.

Julia hoisted herself over him, looming over Young Watson like a great, hungry stick insect. “You like me!” she squealed.

“Er,” coughed Young Watson.

“Well,” she cackled, wiggling her eyebrows and toying at his pants zipper. “You’ll get to know me better soon enough.”

“Yes,” said Young Watson quickly, “but I’m very tired at the moment, and would like to go to bed. Breakfast at ten?”

She kissed him. Young Watson’s eyes widened and then closed dreamily. A deep wave of euphoria crashed from the curves of his toes to the creases in his forehead. His hands began to wander from his sides to her xylophone spine, then to the clasped hooks of her bra. Hazily, he fiddled about with it for a good deal longer than he should have before it burst open and fell haphazardly to the floor. Julia began to purr loudly. “This doesn’t seem fair,” murmured Young Watson, hooking his thumbs around her underwear.

She was rapidly unbuttoning his shirt, and turned to him sharply, giggling loudly. “We’re completing the deal.”

“This is a spell, isn’t it?”

“No,” she said simply. “This is love.”

“Bullshit,” breathed Young Watson without a second thought, diving under the covers.

As Young Watson, saturated and wasted, drifted to sleep, Julia crawled out of bed with a great swirling in her abdomen. Accompanied by a golden cosmic burst she whirled into the air; a mad, almost feral grin spread across her face. She’d serve her species soon enough, and Young Watson would help her-whether he wanted to or not.

Next time…

Questions! Answers! Sex! Jazz! Online dating!

                              

M.I.A. – “Boyz”

A/N: HAPPY 2013 EVERYBODY!! I hope this year is even better than the last. More new experiences, more laughs, more friends, more fun, and of course, more updates for ya’ll! I gotta warn you about the update schedule, though… Since today is the last day of winter break, it’s going to be a while until the Belues see another update. Finals and the One Act are in the far too near future, and I’ve got to devote myself to my studies for a bit. I hope to be up and at ’em again in late January, early February or even in between!

Thanks so much for putting up with me and my stupid life. 🙂

Also, thank you so much for the 4,000 views! You all are fantastic, and I hope you have a great rest of the year!

In conclusion…

“Awh, tricking my brother into unprotected sex! How adorable!”

Oh, Daisy, just go back to your sugar daddy.